'David Beckham' Category
He’ll always have her headlights
The bad:
Beckham needs a cane to walk.
He’s sidelined for six weeks after injuring his knee during a match.
A knee injury can end a soccer player’s career.
The good:
His wife’s nipples can cut glass.
Victoria’s boom booms: the silver lining to any dark cloud!
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Beckhams to take over your TV this fall
Just when you thought you’d had all you could stand of the Beckhams, get ready for more. Much more. NBC prime time more.
Yes, everyone’s favorite British lollypop head and soccer hero are set to gain $19.5 million for their own reality show when they relocate permanently to America at the end of the summer.
Posh Spice’s manager told the Daily Mail, “The Americans were falling over themselves to sign Victoria up for a TV show but we had to choose the right deal for her. NBC won out in the end as they have really taken a shine to Vic’s hilarious sense of humor and they want to capitalize on this.”
Humor. Jessica Simpson Chicken-of-the-Sea humor or Scientology "you’re glib" humor? Guess we’re all going to find out!
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David Beckham takes it off during matches
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Oh yeah…. they’re going to love him in America!
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United in denim
For a Q-tip, he has some perfectly stained and faded jeans!
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Jackie gives advice with a heaving bosom
Jackie Collins believes LA is a sensual hotbed of immediate gratification, just as she writes in her books. Now she’s placed the Beckhams in the center of the overheated imagination of one of her ravishing fantasies.
She warns: "There are so many girls in L.A. that are more beautiful than any on screen and they are predators. If David becomes a movie star, and a lot of people are saying he should, Victoria should know the dangers. You can’t leave men in this town on their own. Not more than a day."
Jackie’s a Klingon! They’re called hookers… I’m sure he’s seen some in England!
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Bush looks scary as a wax figure
This new wax exhibit was unveiled at Madame Tussaud’s in New York yesterday as Neil Diamond’s "America" blared in the background… is it going to scare them away from moving here? Bush looks like a disgruntled butler!
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Beckham mania grips LA
Celebs snapped up Galaxy season tickets over the weekend as David Beckham fever swept across Los Angeles.
Galaxy has sold more than 5,000 season tickets since Beckham’s move from Real Madrid was announced… J-Lo, always in on a trend, was among those who bought season seats.
A club source said: “The ticket office has been buzzing with the names of people who bought a ticket. Representatives of Rod Stewart have been in touch, as have those for Steven Spielberg. We’ve never had so many calls in so short a time."
Will the U.S. finally embrace soccer now as the rest of the world has?
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Bunnies want Becks
David Beckham provokes crushes in men and women wherever he goes… and now that he’s moving to America he’s inspiring fantasies at the Playboy mansion!
Hef plans to welcome Becks into the decadent atmpsphere of the mansion, saying, "I think Hollywood is gonna love him. The girls at the mansion have been talking about it and want to be sure that we put him on the party list."
"I think he will do very well here, particularly since soccer has never really caught on in America as it has in the rest of the world, he may make the difference."
In order to lure Becks to the house for the girls, Hef had to concoct a plan to occupy Victoria. He decided to appeal to her vanity with an offer of a photoshoot the rest of the bunnies! Oh, yeah… she’s going to love that!
Bunny Bridget Marquardt insists she would love former Spice Girl Victoria to do a spread with her group in the pages of Playboy, "She should do a pictorial with us. We’ve got big plans for her. I think she’s going to fit in fine…."
Big plans? That’s optimistic… more likely Posh will turn into a hawk and claw her way through the bunnies!
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Hitting the bottle
At a press conference today discussing his upcoming move to the U.S., Becks had high praise for spiritual guide friend Tom Cruise, saying, "He’s a very wise man and a very good friend of mine and to have his experience and have him explain some things to me to be prepared for, that’s going to be a big help."
While out yesterday, he got a grip on his son’s bottle with Darth Vadar wife Posh!
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Tom can bend forks with his mind too
Get ready for the U.S. economy to have either a huge boost or sharp decline… the Beckhams are set to be exported to America so that David can play for L.A. Galaxy soccer team!
Awww.. now Tom and Katie will have friends to play with… and is it a coincidence Tom memorably played the part of a sports agent who snags huge deals for his superstar clients?
His mind-control sure worked this time! "David has just signed the biggest deal in global sports history with the Galaxy soccer team worth several hundred million dollars over five years. They will move to Los Angeles after he finishes this season playing in Madrid."
