America Ferrera has a good pair of attack dogs growling at every intruder!

CelebCouple Media Saturation Strategies:

Phase One: Making out at a hot LA club.

Phase Two: Pushing through holiday crowds to grab refreshments for a romantic Easter BBQ over the weekend.

Possible Phase Three: Double date with Jessica and John… the goofball twins. Anyone would look good next to them!

Check out the promo poster for the upcoming season of "The Simple Life" before it’s been photoshopped!

Source: Gallery of the Absurd

Kirsten’s up to her usual spaced-out antics, telling a British paper she’s a pothead:

•  "I drink moderately, I’ve tried drugs. I do like weed. I have a different outlook on marijuana than America does. I’ve never been a major smoker, but I think America’s view on weed is ridiculous. I mean, are you kidding me? If everyone smoked weed, the world would be a better place."

Meanwhile, Johnny Borrell, the latest guy she’s been slobbering all over, got sober one day and dumped her.

A source told the News of the World: "Johnny and Kirsten spent all their time together. Kirsten even made herself at home in Johnny’s London pad. But now Johnny has realized she’s not the one for him. He dumped her at the weekend and has gone back to his old girlfriend." The pot must have worn off!

Ashley rocked an 8,000 Givenchy bag and unwashed hair — her usual scraggly rich girl routine!

Dita’s got to be making a bundle off her divorce to Manson. What used to be a bitter divorce filled with ugly accusations of his cheating has suddenly turned into a positive, wonderful experience, as she recited happy quotes to People recently. “We’re still married. We’re going through the [divorce] process and we are not ‘friends’. But we don’t hate each other or anything.”

“I live for adventure and experience and I’m having a really wonderful time in my life. It’s a new renewal for me and a new chapter in my life and I’m excited about happens next.” Yeah… being dumped for a teenager was the best thing that every happened to her!

Meanwhile Dita continues to perform her infamous cocktail glass strip tease at every possible opportunity!

It won’t be the same without James Iha! It would have been so amazing to have Billy, Jimmy, and James take the stage together and reconnect the dueling guitars of 90s era Pumpkins. Not going to happen!

He recently told Rolling Stone: "I’m not part of the current Smashing Pumpkins album or tour. I haven’t spoken to Billy in years. I’m writing for a solo record, which I’m going to record this year, and working on my indie label Scratchie Records." Hmm… sounds like a press release.

Might have something to do with this little tidbit written in Billy Corgan’s blog a few years ago:

• "The truth of the matter is that guitarist James Iha broke up the Smashing Pumpkins. Not me, not drummer Jimmy Chamberlin, but James. Did it help that bassist D’arcy Wretzky was fired for being a mean-spirited drug addict, who refused to get help? No, that didn’t help keep the band together, not at all."

British crooner Lily Allen is quickly overtaking Courtney Love in the freaky rock chick department with her outrageous behaviour. She gets drunk and beats up photographers so often it’s becoming routine.

Last week she turned angry after guzzling beer and cider onstage during her performance at San Diego’s House of Blues. According to the Sun, she told the crowd that “George Bush is an a**hole and a c**t”". Both at the same time?

She then claimed she was bisexual because she was sick of men with “tiny dicks. A concert-goer said, “Lily got really drunk on stage She said that San Diego has the best crack whores she has ever seen and that she was thinking of becoming a lesbian.” She even scared away all her male groupies… they shriveled as she complained about them!

He’s not feeling it anymore!  Nice touch — using the razor. Cold.

Meanwhile his ego continues to inflate out of control, as he tells GQ that  McDonald’s “market share went up 25 percent when I walked into those offices and changed their image" but that he "regrets the McDonald’s deal". Bringing sexy back, earning billions just by entering a room… what’s next… Vegas?

Don’t be fooled by the forced comeraderie among the just-formed Police. According to Andy Summers, the daggers are still sharp between the trio.

He recently bitched to Female First: "We are a rock band, so by definition you have to be somewhat at the edge of battle with each other. It lends to the right kind of tension in the music. You’ve got to have this slightly oil-water situation. I feel like I am going into battle with this tour. I need to strap on psychic armour." Is he going to have a tantric face off with Sting?

He’s still not over their breakup: "The wound wouldn’t heal because there was no ‘this is the last album, this is the farewell tour.’ I do not ever remember us sitting down and formally saying, ‘This is the end of the band.’ We just went away and didn’t come back. After a while I couldn’t lie anymore. I knew we weren’t coming back."

Hope they can make all the way through the tour without ripping each other’s hairpieces out!